Creatures of the Forest

An extract

The boys and the rabbit were in what looked like a lost luggage office, except that instead of umbrellas there were top hats, silk handkerchiefs, and magic wands.

          Goblins hurried in, saw Scrooey-Looey and groaned: "Not another rabbit.  Magicians are always losing rabbits."  They seized Scrooey-Looey by the arms and threw him out the door. 

          The boys were angry.  "You can't do that."  "That's Scrooey-Looey." "He's our friend."

          The goblins ignored them.  "Now what have we here?"  They looked carefully at the brothers and consulted a book.  "Boys.  It says here that magicians are forbidden to make boys disappear.  If these three boys are part of an illegal act perhaps the magician will not dare to claim them.  In three months we can sell them in the market.  Lock them up."

          The goblins seized the boys and locked them in the strongroom, where they found a lady sawn in two, waiting patiently, her top half knitting, her bottom half practising a tap dance.  "Where is Jerry?" she sighed. "I left the supper in the oven.  If he doesn't hurry, it will be burnt."  She continued knitting and dancing, talking all the time:

          "Who is Jerry?  My husband.  A magician.  The most useless magician in the world.  I end up here once or twice a week.  Where are we? The Lost Magic Office.  When a spell goes wrong you end up here.  Sensible, really.  You can't go hunting through the universe for things which have been magicked by mistake.  So everything travels here.  The magician comes, pays a small fine, and collects his lost property or assistant."

          "What happens if he does not come?"

          "Oh, after three months if you have not been collected, they sell you in the market."

          She continued talking. "Only the magician who magicked you here can get you out.  What was her name?  Griselda!  Not a nice name.  Not nice at all.  Would not go down well with our audience.  Jerry is the Great Fernando.  I'm his assistant Esdermelda.  Sounds better than Jerry and Sylvie.  Perhaps this Griselda will come and get you out."

          "We do hope not," said the boys.  "We would prefer to be sold in the market."

          The door opened and a little man in a top hat scurried in.  "My dear, I am so sorry.  Such a silly mistake."

          "Never mind.  Just put me together before the supper's burnt."

          The little man raised a magic wand and the two parts of Sylvie joined together.  "Thank goodness for that," said Sylvie.  "I never feel quite right when I am sawn in two."

          The boys were miserable:  "Either we are collected by Griselda or sold in the market."  "A very gloomy outlook."  "Not good at all."

          "Where is Scrooey-Looey?" asked Benjamin. " Perhaps he can get us out."

          The boys looked out of the window (which had heavy bars).  "There he is." "Scrooey-Looey!" the boys all shouted.

          Scrooey-Looey turned, waved, squeaked excitedly, "They've just opened a new lettuce bar," and ran off.

          Time passed slowly.  Once or twice a week Sylvie appeared, sometimes whole, sometimes in two parts.  She cheered them up.  "Hello boys.  Still here. Where is that rabbit friend of yours?  Still at the lettuce bar?  What a shame."

          One day the boys heard the sound of shouting from the office outside the strongroom:  Griselda was trying to claim them.

          "Madam," said a goblin politely, "that would be against the rules.  They were magicked here by three dwarves.  Only the dwarves can claim them.  Madam, you are not a dwarf."

          "Of course I am not a dwarf," shrieked Griselda.  "The dwarves belong to me.  They are my property."

          "That does not change Rule 33(2)(b)," said the goblin.  "Only the person who magicked the property can reclaim it."

          Griselda screamed and stamped her feet.  "Very well, I shall return tomorrow with the dwarves but the boys must not escape.  If I pay you £50 will you chain them to the wall?"  The goblin agreed.

          The boys had a dreadful night chained to the wall but just as it was getting light Scrooey-Looey awoke them, took a piece of metal out of his pocket and quickly picked the locks.  The boys and rabbit hurried outside.  An alarm went off.  "Lost property escaping!" screeched the goblins, grabbing their spears. Griselda arrived with her guards, sounded her hunting horn, and bellowed "Tally ho!  Off we go!  Let's get them."

          The goblins, Griselda and the dwarves chased them past the lettuce bar, through a wood, across a rocky hillside.  They were only just behind them when the boys and rabbit saw a cave and hurried inside.  There was a hiss and the entrance to the cave snapped shut.  "Oh dear!  I think we have been eaten," cried the boys.

          When the goblins, dwarves and Griselda saw the snake, one hundred foot long, six foot high and wide, they shook with horror.  Its tongue shot out, knocked the magic staff out of Griselda's hand and threw it far away: goblins, dwarves and Griselda screamed and fled.

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